Tru Life’s Tru Friends – Guest Blogger

Tru Lifes
“I used to think that friends were the people that you could laugh and talk to. Now I know that friends are not just that, they are the people that touch your heart.

You could spend hours with them doing nothing at all and it can be the best time of your life, just because it was with them. They are the people you can share your secrets with, cry with, laugh with, and just have fun with. They don’t judge you or make you change. They accept you exactly as you are. They look at you and they see a great person, one they love spending time with. You share something in common and are tied together by memories, tears, laughs, and smiles. You’re tied together by love for the other. Friendship is the strangest but greatest thing in the world. I find my time with my friends the best times of my life. My friends are my heart, my soul, my fun, my laughter, tears, love and my life.

Although, personalities can changes with time. what I have come to realise is people who you grow up with can change considerably. You no longer talk, no longer see each other. When this happens it is one of the hardest things to grasp. I mean it took me close to a year to get over the people that I did not keep in touch with and I will tell you the TRUth it hurt.

Not seeing the people that you use to see every day.

Not talking to the people that you used to not go a day without talking to.
Not talking to the people that you thought you would never stop talking to.

People change and with change brings either positivity or negativity. I let negativity get to me. I was always down, putting up a fake smile, saying I was good when really I wasn’t. When all I wanted was someone to talk to. I had nobody to get advice from when I needed it. I had nobody to tell me what was right or wrong.

I tried to start life with a clean slate. You face decisions, make choices. You keep moving forward. But sooner or later there comes a time where you look back over where you have been in contrast with where you now are and wonder who you really are.

So one day I decided to sit down and fully reflect on my Tru life. I had to look at myself objectively and I honestly did not like what I saw. I began cutting people off slowly who had bad intentions for me, as well as people who only told me what I wanted to hear from them and did not ever challenge me to reach my fullest potential. I began surrounding myself with positive, successful, ambitions people.

Letting go of the past is not something you do once and poof! You’re free, healed, and happy! Rather, letting go is a journey. A journey that is often filled with both steps forwards and steps backward.

Then I ask myself again what are Tru Friends?
A Tru friend is a person who is there for you through thick and thin. A Tru friend does not judge you by the clothes you wear, or the size of your house. A Tru friend has love for you no matter what you both go through. A Tru Friend should always have a shoulder for you to cry on. A Tru friend stands by you in your times of need, and listens eagerly when you are excited about something. They notice and remember every little thing about you. They stand up for you when others do not.
Show me your friends and I will tell you the type of person you are!”
Written by Josiah Longhor – Guest Blogger
Tru Life – The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth
Tru Life began in 2010 as an avenue in which to express Tru views and touch people’s lives.
Check out the latest posts about real life situations, society, relationships and more.
Peace&Love.
Paula Melissa xx

A break from YouTube

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This post is my way of finally deciding to take a break from making content on my YouTube channel. I do not know how long the break will be but I will not upload another video until the time feels right. And here is why:

I have been watching YouTubers making videos on YouTube for ages and found myself aspiring to do it because I wanted to entertain and inspire people like those YouTubers used to do to me. But recently, I have found myself making videos or wanting to make videos for the wrong reasons.

In the recent year, there has been an explosion of people venturing into YouTube as a way to make easy money. I was not one of them. But this increase in competition, shall we say, has made it so much harder to be noticed on YouTube. I found myself getting so discouraged when I would put my all into a video, especially on limited funds and time, only to have 20 people watch it. Let me be real with you all, that hurts.

I then made my Sam and Nia video (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wc1ORipj6aI) which to date has over 9 thousand views. The views made me feel amazing. People were telling me to make more rant, controversial videos like that one, and I was tempted to. I planned videos that I knew would offend some people. Ridiculous. The whole reason why I started YouTube was to be entertaining and inspiring. The header on this blog literally says “Paula Melissa, Here to Inspire” and that is the complete opposite. I went back to what I wanted to do, with the inspirational videos, but the views disappeared too.

As well as this, I would watch the videos of other smaller YouTubers and be completely blown away by the skills they had in filming and editing. My videos felt VERY basic compared to theirs and one thing I never want to be is basic.

The last contributing factor to why I am putting my YouTube journey on pause is that it takes a lot of time, something I do not really have a lot of. I have so many other projects that I have neglected a little because of YouTube, like this blog. I want to go back to posting more often and now I will have the time to put my all into it again.

I do not know when I will go back to YouTube, but when the right time comes I reckon I will know. Until then, my videos will remain on my channel, which you can subscribe to here if you want to.

I appreciate everyone who watched, commented and shared my videos.

Peace&Love.

Paula Melissa xx

Things that happened this year that I am thankful for – 2015 + video

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2015 has been a whirlwind of highs and lows (mainly highs). This post is going to highlight some of the highs in a bid to be thankful to God for everything that has happened this year.  So, in no particular order;

  • 2015 is the year I successfully completed my A Levels. This is a big deal to me because no one but the Lord truly understands how hard I worked and how stressed I was at that time.
  • Following on from the previous point, 2015 is the year I began university. I can honestly say, uni is THE best thing to have ever happen to me. I love all the new people from all over the UK I have met. I love the independence. I love how much I have surprised myself. I love that everyday is different and some how even the most mundane, routine of tasks seems fun to me.
  • 2015 is the year I was awarded the Royal Television Society’s Television Production and Broadcast Journalism Bursary. I think sometimes I forget how amazing this actually is. I am one of a handful of undergraduates who it was awarded to. Also, the RTS are such a respected organisation, I know I am learning from the best of the best.
  • 2015 is the year I worked on NCS. National Citizen Service is a youth program that I was actually a part of a few years ago, so to come back and work on it, as a mentor, was amazing. I have never worked this hard before but at the same time, it was so fulfilling knowing I was making a difference in the lives of the young people I worked with over the summer.
  • 2015 is the year I went on a weekend away retreat with my uni’s Christian Union. This may not be a big deal to some people but it was to me. Despite growing up in a Christian home, I did not have the conventional ‘Christian Kid’ childhood of going to Christian summer camps and Sunday schools and all that good stuff. This weekend was quite pivotal in my Christian walk because I learned to stop judging other Christians. Plainly put, I was seeing God through the lenses of other Christians around me. I was not seeing that they were broken, messed up people just like me.
  • Nicely following on, 2015 is the year that my relationship with God has grown. I think this has a lot to do with university. At uni, God became my God and no longer the God of my parents. I had to go and find out what I believed and why I believed it. No one could believe on my behalf any more. I am still not yet where I need to be, but I am definitely getting there.
  • 2015 is the year my confidence grew in terms of singing in front of people. I have grown up singing in front of a congregation at church but I used to be terrified to sing any other time. I still get terrified, but I heard nerves can be good. This year I sang in my Senior Prom in front of my whole year group. This year, I also sang at an open mic night at uni. Both these performances were huge steps for me.
  • 2015 is the year I fulfilled my childhood dream of going to a WWE live event. I grew up watching WWE with my family and we always spoke of the day we would go and watch it live. It is the best feeling when you finally do something that the younger you has always wanted but believed would never happen – so fulfilling.
  • Last  but not least, 2015 is the year I continued to be dedicated to this blog and to my YouTube channel (click here to Subscribe ). My budget, time and sometimes motivation has been limited this year yet I am proud of the content I have put out to the world. 2016 everything will be bigger and better.

I have grown a tremendous amount this year. God has been so good. Please join me and be grateful for this year because it puts you in a good, prepared mindset for 2016.

 

Peace&Love.

Paula Melissa xx

Jehovah Jireh, My Provider

Guys, this is a really real, really raw post, because right now, in this very moment, I am feeling some really real, really raw feelings.

It is days like this, moments like these that I begin to understand why they call God Jehovah Jireh! He is a provider. When you need something, He will supply it for You.

Coming to University was a new experience for me. It was my first real taste of actual independence. I am an adult. I am in charge of what I do, where I go, what I eat and perhaps most importantly where I spend my money.

This summer before uni, I got a job and worked really hard with the intention of saving money. However, as soon the money touched my bank account, it seemed to instantly evaporate literally into thin air. I suddenly had all these expenses and I watched as my hard-earned money disappeared.

You do not realise the value of money until you work for it yourself. You start to question all your purchases, like “This dress is worth 2 hours of work. Is it really worth it?”

I then got to the stage, nearly a month into uni, when I realised that food is expensive. So are textbooks. So are clothes and washing and printing and buses. Everything costs money and I was running low on the stuff.

So I did what any reasonable person would do. I called my parents. I expected a swift transfer of money into my account, instead I was met with “Trust in the Lord, Paula. Don’t worry.”

Okay. My parents  quoting Bible scriptures is a normal occurrence for me and usually it is quite comforting, but not this time. Like, obviously I trust in the Lord but can you just transfer some money to me please???? [They did eventually send me some money. Eventually!]

But reluctantly I did. I trusted in God and left the fact that I had no money in His hands and did not allow it to ruin my day.

I call Him Jehovah Jireh because He provides in ways that are beyond our imagination. He provides through means that we are not even aware of.

If you take Him as your Jehovah Jireh, He will show up strong. Just call out to him, leave it in His hands and trust in Him.

 

Peace&Love.

Paula Melissa xx

Landscape and pose

I was out with my sister the other day, when we stumbled across the most gorgeous location. I happened to have my camera (Nikon Coolpix L330 in case you’re wondering) on me, so of course we had to take a few shots.

I am no photographer but photography has always been one of my loves (hence my never-ending Instagram photos [@PaulaPaceSetter]), so, please enjoy these photos myself and my sister took.

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Peace&Love.

Paula Melissa xx

Comparing yourself with others

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When I was a little younger, I had officially come to grips with the idea that I am not as ‘naturally pretty’ as other girls. Where I got this idea from, I do not particularly know, but I do know that I believed it with all of my heart. In my young mind, some people are just beautiful. They were born with the lucky combination of chromosomes that made them gorgeous. But it is not all bad, because the rest of us have strengths too. Some of us were born with smarts, some can sing and dance, some have the undeniable talent to make people laugh. I did not believe I was given beauty, but that was okay because I exploited my strengths. I sang, I made people laugh, I worked hard in school, I wrote and I was a good friend to people who needed me. All the while, I never felt like not being ‘conventionally pretty’ hindered me. If anything, it empowered me, because I believed that everything I had, I had earned and didn’t have just because I was nice to look at.

Looking back, it is clear that I only had this view about myself because I compared myself to other people.

For most people, comparing yourself to others just distracts you from the many good qualities you hold. You might be amazing in one aspect, but complete overlook it because someone else shines bright in one particular thing. I learnt that I was beautiful. Maybe not in the conventional way, but then again, who wants conventional? I learnt that some of the things that make some people pretty do not work for me. I had to find indiviudal things that worked for me and made me confident and gorgeous. I think I have.

If you realise something does not work for you, you either forget about it or make it work for you. Life does not give you time to whine and cry about things that do not work, because there will be many things that do not work. If you do not work hard for it, you do not deserve it. Simple as that. And if you get things without working for them, you will not fully understand its value.

I am proud of the beautiful, young woman I have become today, mainly because I worked hard to become her. Because of this, I fully understand my value. I do not ever need to compare who I am, what I am, what I have to someone else, because I am enough. Until I realised this, I was incomplete, whether I realised it or not. If more people could see their worth, they would not care so much when they are cast down or told they are not good enough.

When I was a little girl, I was ‘encouraged’ to join my church choir, mainly because they desperately needed members. I had no interest in music and singing, I was much too busy with things nine-year old girls do. But I joined and soon I realised… I hated it. It was not for me, so I believed. I couldn’t hit the high notes, it took up way too much of my time and to make matters worse, the members were incredibly rude. They were not afraid to tell a nine-year old girl that she really could not sing. After crying on multiple occations, I realised they were probably right. Compared to the adults in the choir, I could not sing at all. However, I also realised that if I kept working hard, I will be able to sing. Fast forward a decade or two, and here I am. I can sing. I may not be Mariah Carey, but I can definetly hit more notes than I could then. The point of my anecdote is to demonstrate that comparing yourself with other people can also be a positive thing, but only if you use the comparison to motivate you. If you do it to pinpoint all the bad things about yourself, then it is not helpful.

You do not need someone to make you realise that you are better than where you are in life, right now. You just need yourself to make that first step to improvement. But sometimes it can be just as helpful to have people to measure against, just to show your progression.

Peace&Love.

Paula Melissa xx

My day at a deaf youth event – VIDEO

You can find inspiration in anything, especially when you do not expect to find it. My mum invited me along to a deaf youth event she was asked to speak at. I went along, not really knowing what to expect. I left that evening with inspiration and a whole new perspective on a side of life I didn’t really know a lot about. What better way to explain my day, than in video form. Enjoy!

I really did not know anything about being deaf, sign language and everything of that sort. It feels good to have my eyes opened.

In many parts of the world, deaf people are somewhat segregated, hidden away in small colonies. People do not expect them to have a life, do not expect them to be funny, beautiful, inspiring people. This saddens me because of course they are.

You can find inspiration in anything. Even in people you have never really known about. Even in people who cannot hear.

Peace&Love.

Paula Melissa xx