FRIENDSHIP

A friend (within or outside marriage) is that person who will still hold your hands when you are in error.

A friend is the person who may be unable to solve your problem but can give you a shoulder to lean on.

A friend is the person who can listen to you even when you are not making sense.

A friend is the person you are not afraid of sharing your struggles with.

A friend is the person who can still call you ‘my friend’ when you do not deserve it.

Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. Ye are my friends, if ye do the things which I command you. No longer do I call you servants; for the servant knoweth not what his lord doeth: but I have called you friends; for all things that I heard from my Father, I have made known unto you. Ye did not choose me, but I chose you, and appointed you, that ye should go and bear fruit, and that your fruit should abide: that whatsoever ye shall ask of the Father in my name, he may give it you. (‭John‬ ‭15‬:‭13-16‬ ASV)

 

Peace&Love.

Paula ox’

40 RANDOM FACTS ABOUT ME

I did this a year ago and now I’m doing 40 facts to add to it. I hope you find this at least mildly entertaining.

  1. I am the eldest of four children; I have two younger sisters and one younger brother.
  2. I have a pet dog called Rolfie. He is 9 months old and we’ve had him since he was 6 months old. He hates dog food and strangers. (He is smelling me while I write this.)
  3. I’m not a party person. I’d literally prefer to stay at home than go out, most of the time.
  4. I love make -up, especially eye make-up.
  5. I’ve been blogging for over two years.
  6. I can’t ride a bike.
  7. My first published piece was a poem I wrote when I was 12.
  8. I’ve worked in the government.
  9. Both my parents are lawyers, ministers and authors. My mum is also a councillor in our local council.
  10. I love animated movies.
  11. I love cooking, but I can get extremely cranky if people bother me whilst I’m in my cooking zone.
  12. I’ve been singing in my church choir since I was 9/10
  13. My favourite colour is purple.
  14. RomComs are the best.
  15. I can be quite a loud person if I’m feeling comfortable but I generally hate unnecessary noise.
  16. I love education and learning but hate school.
  17. I got to sleep before 10pm most nights.
  18. I am a born again Christian and I strongly believe in God.
  19. Jesus is my life. My life is Jesus.
  20. I use twitter and Instagram way too much – (@PaulaPaceSetter)
  21. I have a complicated relationship with food.
  22. I let my age limit me in life for a long time.
  23. I find people who are similar to me extremely annoying, but at the same time they usually become my closest friends.
  24. I have poor eyesight and therefore have prescribed glasses that I never really wear.
  25. I love gospel music; it is so uplifting.
  26. I became a YouTuber in Summer 2014.
  27. The only countries I have been to are Nigeria, Belgium, France and Wales, and obviously England, which is where I live.
  28. I can be such a fangirl, but I hide it relatively well.
  29. When I become friends with someone I am also committed to helping them or supporting them. Due to this, I am still friends with people I met 10 years ago.
  30. I usually prefer covers to the original song.
  31. I hate swearing with a passion.
  32. I have strong opinions about certain topics, and I am not easily persuaded.
  33. I hate going to the cinema.
  34. I have more girl friends than guy friends but tend to be closer with my guy friends than girl friends.
  35. I don’t like boybands.
  36. I don’t drink fizzy drinks or alcohol, I only like juice.
  37. Ice cream is my kryptonite.
  38. Young people are my passion and I spend most of my time trying to positively impact young people’s life.
  39. Recently, I’ve decided I want to be a presenter, after presenting a talent show and showcase, as well as a journalist; Benny Bonsu is my inspiration when it comes to journalism and presenting.
  40. I am NOT an outdoorsy person but in Summer 2014 I went to Wales, where I climbed up a waterfall, I climbed inside dark tunnels inside a mountain and came out at the top, I went camping, I went canoeing and I jumped into a freezing lake even though I can’t swim. I literally still can’t believe that I did all of that.

Peace&Love.

Paula ox’

How to make an impact – 4 simple steps

Have you ever asked yourself, ‘how do I make an impact?’ In this kind of world, it gets harder to truly be the person God made you and wants you to be.

1) Make an impact through the type of lifestyle you live
People are watching you… Us. Everyone is looking for that guidance, that ‘something’ and therefore we must be that ‘something’ in their lives, shown through our lives.Be a comforting voice or reason in peoples lives, a voice that reassures everyone. Let people know you as a positive person, a person know for uplifting words and actions, not words and actions that pull others down.

2) Make an impact through your giving.
This one is a little touchy because I know most of you lot were literally like, “Oh! Heck no! My money is my money!”, but giving don’t always mean money. It can mean giving your time, your emotions, your service, your resources or your knowledge. If someone is in need, and you are capable of helping them, help them. It’s not everyday sit and wait until they come to you begging on their needs; some days just help wholeheartedly. It is literally the little things that people will notice are different in your life. You’re in McDonald’s for lunch with a friend. You’ve already ordered and paid for your lunch. Your friend assumes he/she has more money than she actually does and can’t afford the medium diet coke with the meal. If you have that extra pound, give it to the friend. That is making an impact with your giving. Lastly, don’t be that person who keeps a record of your givings. “I gave you 33p on the 6th of June 2005, it was a Monday, and it was snowing. You was wearing a blue top, I was wearing a red.” That’s just ridiculous. Give wholeheartedly. Again, give wholeheartedly.

3) Make an impact through your speaking
Prayer is communicating with God; it is just talking. It may look like you’re speaking to yourself, but you’re not. God is listening.
You can make an impact by praying over your life and the lives of your friends, family and peers. Quick story; once, a good friend of mine was heading down the wrong path, and it was really worrying me. I didn’t feel like I could talk to her about it because she had the mindset that everyone was judging her, and that everyone, including me, was against her. In fact, it is the exact opposite. I wanted what was best for her. So I tweeted out, “What do you do when your friend is going down the wrong route?” and someone replied and said, “all you can do is pray for them.” Long story short; they are back to where they are supposed to be, thanks to the prayers of myself and her friends, family and church. If you care about someone, pray for them.
2 Chronicles 7:15
15 Now my eyes will be open and my ears attentive to the prayers offered in this place.

4) Make an impact through knowledge and passing on knowledge

The Bible is referred to as ‘The word of God’. Technically, people wrote it, but it was under the interpretation given to them by God. I don’t know how some people expect God to pick up a heavenly pen and heavenly paper and wrote down stuff. God is a spirit and not of this earthly world. Therefore, he must use physical people to physically write down his words. When you hear or read the things written down in the Bible, your faith grows. Faith is your belief, your belief in life, your belief in God and your belief in yourself. Think about it like this, if someone verbally abused a child from a young age over a long period of time, that person will grow into a young adult and believe all the abuse the have heard over time. The Bible works in a similar way, except it is positive, reassuring words that helps you build a confidence which pulls you through troubles and problems in life. The Bible’s definition of faith is found at Hebrews 11:1 – Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.

Furthermore, Romans 10:17 (Consequently, faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word about Christ.) establishes that hearing the word of God is a priority. As well as hearing the word, you need to be able to share the word with other people. This encourages people who have low levels of faith and belief, in their selves or in life, due to what they have gone through in the past.

These four simple steps work when used all together in a persons life.
These steps are an adaptation from a message heard in church, so not all my own work.
Peace&Love.
Paula ox’

 

Lost Generation?

An author described our generation as ‘lost’.

Lost. Lost connotes the idea that it is gone, hopeless, disorientated. While many young people may show symptoms of this, we are not lost. We are not hopeless. There is always hope. It’s never gone too far that it can’t be brought back and amended.

This current generation has seen things that our parents and grandparents never ever saw in such frequency and magnitude – and done so publicly and openly. They say things like teenage pregnancies, homosexuality, drugs, idolatry and crime have been around for years, which is true. But just because sin has been happening for years and years doesn’t change its nature; it is still sin. Fact. Truth. Sorry. You can call it something pretty instead, but it is still sin. Ideology and opinions will not and cannot change this.

I feel like some of today’s youth and young people are in need of being found, but I wouldn’t conclude that our generation as a whole is lost. When someone loses something, they desire to find it, and that is exactly what is happening here. Young people’s hearts are crying for something deep within them that makes them feel like they’ve lost something, but they just aren’t sure what it is. They turn to immoral things in the hope that they will find this thing. However, it can be found and they can be reunited. It’s just a matter of someone giving them guidance back to that first love.

That love that is stronger than their parents, stronger than a boyfriend or girlfriend or best friend. A love that is impartial and fair. A love that doesn’t care if you’re black or white or any ethnicity, for that matter. A love that doesn’t care if you’re tall or short, slim or fat. A love that doesn’t care what you did in the past, or what your personality was like before.

That love comes from Jesus. And it’s Jesus that gives you the strength to be a part of the ‘found generation’. The world loves to make fun of us for standing up and setting ourselves apart. The world likes to display Christians as Ned Flanders from The Simpsons – as boring, ‘do-gooders’, as a joke. But I don’t care. We are ‘do-gooders’ but we aren’t boring, we are people with purpose, people with joy, people with direction, people with enthusiasm, people with fun and people with success. And we are most definitely NOT lost. We may get shunned or overlooked, but that’s a small price to pay for eternity.

Adults seem to be the people who have diagnosed us as a ‘lost generation’, as a group of people to give up on, which I find rather ironic considering they were the ones who raised us and they were the ones who were here before us. Instead of condemning us, people need to stand up and think, “Hm… What can I do to inspire these people?” You say we lack motivation, I say we don’t. We know what we want, and we are out there getting it – with or without your help. It’s been left to us as youth to inspire and empower ourselves and that’s what we’ll do.

A lost generation? Nope, not on our watch.

 

Peace&Love.

Paula ox’

Black book, Black film

I’ve lived in London all of my life. Born, bred and raised here, basically. It’s crazy how multicultural my city is. Only forty-four percent are white British. So growing up in London teaches you to be tolerant and aware of different cultures and traditions.

I am also proud to say that I’ve never experienced racism firsthand. I feel like living here makes it really hard to understand the extremity of racism in other parts on the UK or other countries in the world. Obviously I learnt about racism in school but it never felt like a hugely real concept to me.

Recently, I read a book and watched a film that really made me wake up and appreciate the fact that I live in such a multicultural and culturally-tolerant society.

The book I read was Malorie Blackman’s Noughts and Crosses. I feel like I was the last person on Planet Earth to read the book but I finally got there! I absolutely loved it. It was so engaging. Now, without giving away too much, Malorie was extremely clever in the way she wrote it. She flipped racism and segregation, and re-wrote history, so to speak. In the book, black people weren’t being discriminated against, it was the white people. What I like is that this isn’t ever made explicit in the book. She called white people ‘noughts’ and black people ‘crosses’, so it’s evident that it isn’t a personal vendetta against anyone or any race. Seriously, the way this woman writes is just crazy.

The film I watched is called ‘Ruby Bridges’ and it is based on a true story. The story follows a little black girl in first grade called Ruby, who is highlighted as a smart, overachieving little girl, therefore she’s amongst the first black children in New Orleans to attend ‘white people’ school. Bare in mind, this story is based years ago when prejudice was very much a normal part of American life. Without giving too much away, Ruby endures some crazy things, some heart breaking things that no child should ever have to face. With the love of her family, friends, teacher and faith, Ruby overcomes racial barriers. This movie is so beautifully created, and really made me appreciate the society I live in, especially as a young black woman.

If you get the opportunity to read this book or watch this film, jump at it, because you’ll be greatly inspired, just like I was.

 

Peace&Love.

Paula ox’

Another one on stress and worry

Stress is one thing that I have learnt never really and truly goes away, unless you do something about it. I like to talk about stress because I pretty much battle it everyday. There have been blogs on the topic, videos on the topic (click here), talks about the topic; I’ve done everything. And yet, I still haven’t fully dealt with it.

As a girl, I feel like the problem is a million times harder and stronger because we just stress about school, work, boys, how we look, what people think about us, careers, and literally everything in between. It’s like we subconsciously enjoy worrying and stressing about things that we can’t even change. It’s like we get a strange buzz from telling people the irrational worries that we have, that keep us up all night and occupy our innermost thoughts. It’s almost fun describing these unlikely scenarios to people. I know I do this.

There was a time, I spent hours telling my friend all the silly worries I had about this particular guy. The worries and stresses were consuming my every thought and it genuinely felt good to unload them to my friend. I kept being reminded by an annoying little voice in my head, that I wasn’t pretty enough and that he probably didn’t like me. My friend was so blunt and was just like, “Why doesn’t you just ask him? At least that way you’ll know and you can stop stressing and move on.” So that’s what I did, and even though I didn’t get the answer I wanted, it felt good to have that load off my back so I could finally stop thinking about it all.

The whole point of what I’m saying is, we need to stop worrying and stressing about things we genuinely can’t change, and start fixing and working on the things we can. That’s my new life motto and I’m working my way there. Trust me, it’s not the easiest thing, but God is helping me!

I read in a book called ‘An Enemy Called Average’ by John L. Mason, that “every obstacle has a limited life span.” This means that something you are worrying about today isn’t something you’ll even remember in a weeks time, a months time, a years time. Life moves on and therefore the struggles pass.

Just remember, if someone makes you worry more than makes you happy, you probably do not need them in your life. Cut them out. Simple as. Life is much too short to be anything but happy. On that extremely cheesy note, I’ll end this. But let this be a new beginning for you!


Peace&Love.
Paula ox’