Why is friendship so hard?

Why is friendship so hard?

One day you feel on top of the world; the next time you feel unloved.

I would love to say it gets better, but surely, it gets WAY worse before it gets better. Now before you click off this post, hear me out. I am not saying that friendship is not worth it because I am a firm believer of friends being like family. Any one who knows me, knows I am always talking about friendship.

First back to the basics; Friendship is defined as  a relationship between two people who hold mutual affection for each other. – Thanks Wiki.

I don’t necessary agree with the two peoples thing. I believe friendship can be shared between any number of people. Although it is much easier between 2 people. Then again, who wants an easy life(?)

I find friendship hard because I am a very hard person to be compatible with. I am complicated. I think that is a nice way of putting it. Let’s just say, I am probably someones nightmare. However, I am not ready to change myself to be accepted by a bunch of people I may not even know in a few years. I think about the long run; the future. If I believe in myself so much and I take the necessary steps to eliminate unnecessary people who have no firm role in my life. To be brutally honest, I think everyone does this process; they just don’t like to make it obvious. I am an upfront kind of person. The way I would like friendship to be involves someone who I can be semi-dependent on; someone who I can trust. Someone who has the same interests as me, I mean seriously, we got to have something to talk about. I want someone who is transparent so I can tell whenever something is up. I want someone who can see me as transparent. Someone with a weird sense of humour like me. Someone who knows what I’m saying even before I finish it; someone who knows me well enough to finish my sentences. Basically, I want a friend.

See – even as I type this, I realise how ridiculous and unrealistic this ‘person’ sounds. Is it so ridiculous to want a real friend? Am I dumb for wanting someone who is constant? Is true friendship as hard to find as true love? Do I settle for second, third and fourth best while waiting for this dream friend?

It took me a long time to admit it but, I cannot find all the things on my check list, in one person. Maybe I could, but am I willing to wait? There has to be another way.

Then I got thinking, maybe you don’t have to have all those things in one person, maybe its just not realistic. So I started having bunches of friends. We were all ‘besties’ but we all had different things we loved about each other. Of course this didn’t work (obviously it didn’t or I wouldn’t be writing this and I would be living happily ever after in the beautiful land of FriendshipTopia), but it was fun while it lasted. In the group, there is always that one person everyone like just a tiny bit more than everyone else. She wasd the one that no one messes with or you’re out. Lets just say, I managed to find out who that person is, and potentially mess with them. Oops..

So the moral of the story is that, everyone sucks. No, I’m kidding. The moral of the story is; don’t try so hard to fit in, when you were born to stand out.

Still working this one through but all I can say is, be yourself, live life and move on from the people that bring you pain. Whenever someone breaks your trust, have a good cry, but afterwards move on with your life. Don’t carry on like your life depended on them. Learn to forgive and forget. Learn to move on. Learn to live in the mindset of ‘Hey, maybe she/he wasn’t for me, right now. Someone better will come along.’ and believe it.

Now I know that sounds cheesy but trust me, it does wonders to a distressed mind. When people cause you pain; learn from it, but do not hold onto it. Go through life with your eyes a bit more open.

I always try and be a good friend (underline try). I could be the best friend a girl or guy could ever have…

But I’m trying this thing where I try and act to people how I want them to act to me. So far so good; then again, this is the beginning.

Before I go, just remember, everyone in your life is there for a reason. You might not know what reason yet but they are. God isn’t random; He didn’t go, ‘Eenie meenie miney mo, I’ll just plonk you there.’ No. He sure knows what He was doing when He placed that person there. Everyday we learn; that’s what we do.

Every mistake is one step closer to the correct answer.




Peace&Love.. and Friendship

Paula ox


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