It was about time I did something by myself, for myself. I got to explore my city more and ended up finding places that I never knew existed. After about 3 hours of walking and travelling I thought it was time for some food. I found a super cute American-style diner and as most people know about me, I love American food. So I went in and immediately felt something weird about the place. Everyone was staring at me, and I was confused as to why.
Turns out nowadays it is strange to go to a restaurant by yourself. The waitresses pitied me and kept asking me if I was okay. Bless them. I was okay, why did they not believe that. I just wanted my food.
Please do not ever feel that you have to have people around you 24/7 in order to be happy. You need to learn how to be comfortable in your own presence. So comfortable that you can sit at a restaurant by yourself and not feel shameful or awkward.
As I draft this post, I am sitting in this restaurant, completely confused as to how and why I am so comfortable doing this. Eating alone might not be a big deal to some of you readers but what you need to understand is that a few years ago I would have rather died that been caught eating or even sitting alone. I thank God that I am so happy in my own company and in the person I am now that I do not feel I need to always be surrounded by my friends or family to be content. My happiness is not dependent on who I am around or where I am. It is dependent on me.
On the other hand, I am not saying that you do not need people in your life. My dad always says, ‘no man or woman is an island.’ We as humans need each other. We crave companionship and friendship – it is innate. I, for one, love my friends and family and all the people God has put around me, but every single day, I am learning that my joy comes from God and myself and not from them. Yes I have fun with them and being around them is some of the most enjoyable times in my life, but I can never forget that they are people, like me. People, like me, who make mistakes and can disappoint. Therefore, I cannot hoist all my hopes and dreams on them, because when (not if) they disappoint or fail me the only person I can really blame is myself.
So just a reminder today, invest some love and time in yourself. I promise you, it is okay to do so.
Paula Melissa xx