This post is my way of finally deciding to take a break from making content on my YouTube channel. I do not know how long the break will be but I will not upload another video until the time feels right. And here is why:
I have been watching YouTubers making videos on YouTube for ages and found myself aspiring to do it because I wanted to entertain and inspire people like those YouTubers used to do to me. But recently, I have found myself making videos or wanting to make videos for the wrong reasons.
In the recent year, there has been an explosion of people venturing into YouTube as a way to make easy money. I was not one of them. But this increase in competition, shall we say, has made it so much harder to be noticed on YouTube. I found myself getting so discouraged when I would put my all into a video, especially on limited funds and time, only to have 20 people watch it. Let me be real with you all, that hurts.
I then made my Sam and Nia video (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wc1ORipj6aI) which to date has over 9 thousand views. The views made me feel amazing. People were telling me to make more rant, controversial videos like that one, and I was tempted to. I planned videos that I knew would offend some people. Ridiculous. The whole reason why I started YouTube was to be entertaining and inspiring. The header on this blog literally says “Paula Melissa, Here to Inspire” and that is the complete opposite. I went back to what I wanted to do, with the inspirational videos, but the views disappeared too.
As well as this, I would watch the videos of other smaller YouTubers and be completely blown away by the skills they had in filming and editing. My videos felt VERY basic compared to theirs and one thing I never want to be is basic.
The last contributing factor to why I am putting my YouTube journey on pause is that it takes a lot of time, something I do not really have a lot of. I have so many other projects that I have neglected a little because of YouTube, like this blog. I want to go back to posting more often and now I will have the time to put my all into it again.
I do not know when I will go back to YouTube, but when the right time comes I reckon I will know. Until then, my videos will remain on my channel, which you can subscribe to here if you want to.
I appreciate everyone who watched, commented and shared my videos.
Paula Melissa xx